This year an article grabbed my attention on November 2nd in the New York Times, entitled, If Elected….Obama Envisions New Iran Approach By Michael R. Gordon And Jeff Zeleny. In this interview, Senator Barack Obama said that forging a new relationship with Iran would be part of his effort to stabilize Iraq. What grabbed me here was the idea that someone in a leadership position would consider an approach that wasn’t aggressive. Sadly, my impression of US leaders in recent times is that for the most part when they are faced with a global conflict they believe that might makes right.

In the work I do of the Pacific Institute, with leaders of companies and organizations, we teach that the more you push someone the more pushback you get. So if you are trying to get something accomplished you are better to work constructively – pulling not pushing. Obama’s position intrigued me because what he suggested made me feel a kind of hope I have not felt in a long time about leaders, especially politicians. I can only hope that enough people recognize the potential greatness of this young leader so that he is the one giving the next State of the Union address in the US.

In any case, I began reading everything I could about and by Barack Obama and am in the middle of The Audacity of Hope. What I see in him are qualities of the kind of person I call “a Love Leader” in my own book, Love Leadership: What the World Needs Now. To me, he clearly is a person of principle (or values, as he calls them). Also, that he is a person who prizes good beyond himself, and a person who is striving to remain authentic in a career choice that makes it very difficult to remain authentic.

These qualities, if you have read my book, are all characteristics of a Love Leader. To me, the reason so many Americans are giving him serious consideration as the Democratic presidential nominee is because, to them , he represents a different and refreshing way to provide the country with a hope based agenda for moving forward.

A few weeks ago while visiting Mexico I met a couple of Americans who asked me who I as a Canadian would I vote for, if I could vote in the US election. I explained to them that like most people it seems I found it easy to dislike George Bush, and that Barrack Obama was the candidate who best mirrored my beliefs and values. I also told them about a chapter in Obama’s book where he was talking about George Bush, and surprised me. I had thought he would really slam Bush, since they are completely at odds in how they view the world. To my initial (immature) disappointment though, Obama did not slam Bush. In fact, he said several complementary things about the president, followed by comments about areas where he saw things differently.

I told my new acquaintances, that after thinking about this I was left with a great deal of respect for Obama. He made it abundantly clear that he saw things differently, by at the same time protected and respected Bush’s dignity, That is also what great Love Leaders do.

As a Canadian I have no real say with regard to who becomes US president.That does not mean we don’t care. And of course the direction and actions taken by the US President does have a dramatic effect on Canadian citizens and on our economy overall.

I also found it interesting that in the New Hampshire primary Senator Hillary Clinton was able to make such a dramatic comeback. In truth though, I wasn’t that surprised. In my book I talk about vulnerability as being a strength rather than a weakness. What Senator Clinton did when she broke down a little the night before the vote was show people her vulnerability. Her choking response to a question about how she was holding up turned the tide for her, then and there, perhaps permanently, perhaps not. In any case, people understandably want to know who they are dealing with/ they want to know if that person, that potential leader, really cares about them. And if that leader isn’t perfect and does reveal emotions, so much the better.

However, that being said, in the balance Barack Obama, to me, and for what it’s worth, is the most authentic, vulnerable, courageous and inspirational candidate there is, and represents the kind of leader, okay, the kind of Love Leader, these times demand. As I said…for what it’s worth. But for myself, I always choose Hope over Fear.

Gregg Cochlan

In 1984 Stephen Lewis was appointed Canadian Ambassador to the United Nations From 1995 to 1999 he served as Deputy Director of UNICEF. From 2001 until 2006 he worked as United Nations Special Envoy for HIV/AIDS in Africa. In his role as Special Envoy, he drew attention to the HIV/AIDS crisis and worked to help convince leaders and the public that they too bear responsibility and must respond to this crisis. Lewish has been widely praised for his effectiveness in this role.

I attended the presentation with my mother, who is a member of a group that works in support of the Stephen Lewis’ s “Grandmother for Grandmother,” a foundation he set up around the world to enable grandmothers to help grandmothers. My sister Jay and my daughter Katie also attended the event. We all thought it was going to an entertainment event with a great speaker who was going to talk about something he was passionate about.

Stephen is a wonderful speaker with a great sense of humor – astonishing in a way, given the human destruction he has witnessed. The content of his stories is both tragic and disturbing. I was quickly moved and almost embarrassed that I expected entertainment. All of us were quickly stunned into silence.

Below is a quote from my book that I summarizes my feelings as I listened to Stephen Lewis speak:

If a world where Love Leadership is the ideal, you’ d still have conflict. But in a loving world, when the standard rule is to solve this conflict without harming the dignity and humanity of the human being with whom you’ re having this conflict, you have to find a peaceful way to solve the dispute without harming, hurting or belittling anyone. It makes so much sense to me that I’ m often astonished that the choice to lead with love isn’ t made more often.

Stephen Lewis talked about the incredible spread of AIDs in Africa and in a number of other counties. He went on to tell us highly disturbing stories about harm done to woman and children and the total disregard of many men in authority to protect or respect the dignity and humanity of woman. After hearing the story I must admit I was disturbed that I shared the same gender with men who did such horrible things. I was also disturbing that as human beings any of us could allow this to go on.

At this point in the presentation my thoughts went from judgment to wondering how could the human system could break down so badly that men would do this to fellow humans, and especially to women, who we are expected to protect.

Throughout the presentation I flashed on the movie “Blood Diamonds,” where they portrayed a thoughtful African boy who was taken from his loving family and over time was transformed into a teenage killing machine. I could see how over a period of time it is possible to create this horrible behavior and wanton disregard of human life.

It has been three or four weeks since I heard Stephen Lewis, and his presentations still resound in my head. Thanks to him, I am now even more inspired to work to entrench Love Leadership into the world. There are two actions in my book that I hope inspire readers to in initiate: one is – encourage people to increase their capacity to love. The second is to increase our collective responsibility to respect and protect the dignity of all humans.

Sadly, in some parts of Africa what has increased is the capacity to hate and an increase in lack of respect for the dignity of humanity. It seems like there is no value placed on the individual’ s life.

I do not totally understand the whole issue in Africa, and I am sure it is a complex one with no immediate, easy solutions. Nonetheless, I have come to two conclusions. I believe it is imperative that we work to change the belief that life has no value. I also believe that we need to create and support a moral imperative that encourages respect and protection of the dignity and humanity of all. Until then, everyone should lose sleep over this issue, not just Stephen Lewis.

This was wonderful. But it got me thinking: “Have I created a monster?” It was wonderful to hear “I love you” from people, and it was wonderful to receive all the hugs I got that night. But what is really important for me to make clear – and I do clarify this in the book – is that Love leadership is not about always using the words themselves, nor about hugging people. What is infinitely more important and to the point is that people know or feel that you love them. You do not necessarily need words or hugs to convey this. Not that it isn’t nice to say sometimes.

A couple of weeks ago I spoke to a group of Fourth Year business students about leadership, and specifically about Love Leadership. The professor of this class is a very inspirational teacher who has created a wonderful learning environment for her students. I joked with her a bit and said she has largely done this by not being normal. Please forgive for this next comment but, normally universities are not structured in a way that supports this kin d of love culture. I won’t go into all the details of her class, but for sure students loved being in her class and learned a lot form her in a wonderful atmosphere.

In fact, I asked these students by a show of hands if they loved being in their professor’s class, They all responded with hands up. I then asked them if they thought the professor loved them. They all put up their hands. Next I asked them if they loved her and they all put up their hands. Finally I asked them had she ever publicly said this. They all answered no: nor had they told her they loved her. The point here is that if they know it or feel it they do not necessarily need to say it. My worry was that people would perhaps think all they really have to do is say it versus be it. Saying is not doing.

The interesting thing about these students: I would bet they do not have any fears associated with this class. When I went to university many of my professors scared me. I was fearful of taking exams and having to write essays. In some cases I was even fearful of asking or answering a question, afraid to appear stupid. Looking back, I think I would have gotten much more out of the classes and done better in my exams or papers if I was not afraid of making a mistake.

Love leadership creates an environment where fear is driven out, leaving room for courage and fearlessness. A very good thing, as I hope you will agree, after you read my book.

I have recently started selling Love Leadership as an eBook in addition to it’s paper edition. You can purchase either from me on the Love Leadership store.

A definition of great leaders is that they have willing followers. But how do you attract willing followers?

The challenge of leadership is to first determine the clear what – what you want to accomplish. Secondly, the imperative is to develop a clear compelling why-why people would want to put effort or support into helping you accomplish your goals. Unfortunately some leaders think the best why is an “or else”

In my community we just completed a provincial election. What is amazing in the political world is much the strategy of motivating voters relies on fear. The wolf in sheep’s clothing is a tagline used by one of the political parties. Please understand I am making this commentary not to trash one party or the other, but rather to demonstrate how some leaders seek to motivate through the use of fear-based tactics.

I had an opportunity for a conversation with one of the candidates in this election. He asked me what I thought of their ‘wolf’ campaign. I told him honestly that I did not like it. I said that in my opinion many voters are waiting – fruitlessly at present – for a leader who can provide a clear picture of what they intend to accomplish, not one who tries to convince by fear in order to get me to vote against the other party. As it turn out the political party that used hope not fear won.

Not to get into international conflict with our good neighbor in the U.S., but it has always been my observation that the U.S. has a fear-based culture and the current president is unfortunately exceptionally adept at creating and sustaining that fear. Two of his public statements still ring in my ears: “You are either with us or against us” and “The axis of evil.”

Tragically, I think many leaders default to fear as their motivators. It is true in many areas, not only in politics. But, that being said, in the political arena fear-based politics sure shows up in big bold letters and a 64-point fonts size, because it adversely affects each and every one of us as well as our children and children’s children. This kind of scare tactic is the polar opposite of Love Leadership, which is why it is exactly what the world needs now.