Hugs and I Love You’s Are NOT Love Leadership
Posted On March 1, 2008 at 12:52 am in Love Leadership
When I spoke to the folks at my book launch the thing that appeared to surprise most people was how acceptable it is to say I love you. It was kind of funny that a lot of people who had seldom if ever said, “I love you” to me were saying it that night. Even my Dad, who had never said I love you to me, walked into to my house after the launch and said, ” Hey Gregg, I love you”.
This was wonderful. But it got me thinking: “Have I created a monster?” It was wonderful to hear “I love you” from people, and it was wonderful to receive all the hugs I got that night. But what is really important for me to make clear – and I do clarify this in the book – is that Love leadership is not about always using the words themselves, nor about hugging people. What is infinitely more important and to the point is that people know or feel that you love them. You do not necessarily need words or hugs to convey this. Not that it isn’t nice to say sometimes.
A couple of weeks ago I spoke to a group of Fourth Year business students about leadership, and specifically about Love Leadership. The professor of this class is a very inspirational teacher who has created a wonderful learning environment for her students. I joked with her a bit and said she has largely done this by not being normal. Please forgive for this next comment but, normally universities are not structured in a way that supports this kin d of love culture. I won’t go into all the details of her class, but for sure students loved being in her class and learned a lot form her in a wonderful atmosphere.
In fact, I asked these students by a show of hands if they loved being in their professor’s class, They all responded with hands up. I then asked them if they thought the professor loved them. They all put up their hands. Next I asked them if they loved her and they all put up their hands. Finally I asked them had she ever publicly said this. They all answered no: nor had they told her they loved her. The point here is that if they know it or feel it they do not necessarily need to say it. My worry was that people would perhaps think all they really have to do is say it versus be it. Saying is not doing.
The interesting thing about these students: I would bet they do not have any fears associated with this class. When I went to university many of my professors scared me. I was fearful of taking exams and having to write essays. In some cases I was even fearful of asking or answering a question, afraid to appear stupid. Looking back, I think I would have gotten much more out of the classes and done better in my exams or papers if I was not afraid of making a mistake.
Love leadership creates an environment where fear is driven out, leaving room for courage and fearlessness. A very good thing, as I hope you will agree, after you read my book.
I have recently started selling Love Leadership as an eBook in addition to it’s paper edition. You can purchase either from me on the Love Leadership store.
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